Sacrifices of a Carer

Nobody tells you how hard caring for a loved one can be , on all levels..The strain mentally and physically can be draining and it eats away on your soul....I have been the backbone of the family with raising 3 children and sole carer of my husband for the best of twenty years....In doing so I can sit back and say i did a good job raising my kids...They all have morals, have good lives and in general are very caring young adults...

Sadly one has chosen not to include me in their life these days but that`s another story for another day...My eldest is my best friend and my sounding board...She will listen when i`m down and always have a shoulder for me to lean on ...The youngest is still home with me and today he is my protector and my side kick...I`m proud of my kids because I did it tough and I did it on my own even though i was married...

As a carer you give up a lot, a career, a social life, family outings, in fact when i look back and assess, it has even had an effect on my marriage... You see if you are not careful it can consume you before you know it especially when you are putting everyone`s needs before yourself...In my case it did, and in the end you are no longer classed as a husband and wife team ...It`s just you "the carer"...The one who is the glue holding everything together...Putting on the happy face but on the inside you`re thinking this life that was thrusted upon you is tearing you apart...It can be a dark lonely place...

When I turned 50 it was like a light switched on...Yep a light bulb moment...I thought the best years of my life had gone in a blink, ...Where did the time go???...What had I done for myself other than raising my children????.....I couldn`t think of one thing, yet I had so many pipe dreams when I was younger....

Now I have chosen to do things for me ...After taking care of everybody who mattered to me in life i have managed to take up casual employment, traveled overseas and planning a big holiday for next year with my youngest son because i feel he especially missed out on alot growing up because of his fathers illnesses...In doing these things for myself I am still doing what is required of me as a carer but i am not letting it consume me to the point of sacrificing what life I have left....Sadly because of circumstances out of our control we are now separated as husband and wife, amicable mind you.... Due to illness taking it`s toll we have now become more like friends and with a decision not taken lighty agreed to stay under the same roof making things easier for the both of us...

Just remember as a carer , you matter, your life matters....Always always devote time for yourself otherwise you could end up like me and realise when it`s all too late.....

Succulent Crazy

As i have become a mature aged person my love for gardening has expanded...I never quite understood how anyone could be so possessed by a simple plant, until now...The humble succulent I can`t get enough of them, always on the lookout for the different and exotic...

Sadly i am running out of room but still i will keep buying, accepting freebies and if i`m lucky see something growing on the curbside which i don`t have and take a cutting..

But to my delight i am far from alone..I have joined so many groups who like myself have a love for these delightful plants...We compare, share and admire...Just one of my many interests that keeps the sanity alive and well...

I`ve found my way back

Well it certainly has been a while since i`ve been here, 5 or so years by the looks of things..A lot has certainly changed for me in that time, one being older and hopefully wiser...                                                                                                                                                                                                          
Why am i back???..Well firstly it took this old girl a while to find her way back..You know, that thing called a memory ...Yeah right, it`s a struggle these days ...Then i have had the need to vent and get my frustrations out without being judged or stalked by the ones whom you class as family or close friends especially when it comes to the dreaded Facebook...You know how it goes, you put something up and everything is taken out of context and suddenly it has become a world war..Plus there is that situation where you have mutual friends , so on and so on...Nothing is sacred..NOTHING...

One has had situations where the phone calls start because of a status you happen to have written all wanting to find out what`s going on and let`s face it, you really don`t want to go into detail...Sometimes they mean nothing but people make it into something naturally thinking it`s about them or someone they know, and so it snowballs into something which meant totally nothing..

Hence the reason for me to take up my first love again which was blogging...

Goodbye to 2 dear friends

Sadly it`s been a week of loses for me....

A family friend lost her beautiful 4 year old boy to cancer and tonight I learnt that a dear blogging friend also lost her battle to cancer....Some of you will know her....Chez , her blog "Indigo Dreaming"......

Now there is no more pain and suffering, you are both free....

Thankyou for being a part of my life...You will never be forgotten as you both have a special place in my heart.....

RIP Rodney and Chez..xxx

Wow another year has passed..It seems that the years are going faster each time around, i`m sure of it...

I am really hoping that the Year 2012 is going to be better than last year especially for my youngest whom is struggling with the teen years...14 going on 40 and it`s a battle of the wills at the moment...Thankfully mum still has a few tricks up her sleeve..lol...

It`s a new beginning for myself this year ...I am finally making time for me by joining up with the local gym...Firstly it`s going to be good for my fitness as i currently have zilch in the fitness category and secondly it is giving me an outlet...Let`s face facts, a girl can only do so much shopping in a week....

I started my fitness regime last week and OH MY GOD what have I done...The pain, i could hardly walk but with sheer determination I went back ..4 days of sweat and sore muscles already it`s paying off...

Who knows i might end up running a marathon...

(IN MY DREAMS)...hahaha...

Happy NEw Year evryone

The Elephant in Adelaide not a place to let your daughters socialise

You think that your 18 year old daughter is going to be ok whilst out on the town...

You do the parent thing going through the do`s, don`ts and the just in cases with her because you never know what could be waiting around the corner...

But what happened this Saturday night makes my blood boil...

Night Clubs really need to start treating our kids as kids not as cattle....

My daughter was sitting with her group of friends minding her own business when a security guard grabbed her by the arm and started heading her towards the door....

She asked him what he was doing and the response to follow is ridiculous....

He needed to clear out some people so that they could get more in as the queue outside was building....

Who cares!!!!!!!!

Not you obviously....

What right do you have to throw an 18 year old girl out on the street ALONE......

These night clubs make rules up as they go along...Got to get the numbers up don`t we and not worry about the consequences in doing so...The patrons, well they`re just a number aren`t they.... Well you STINK "THE ELEPHANT" in Adelaide....

Thankfully a young lad came to my daughters rescue as she was beside herself crying and scared not knowing what to do. He walked with her to find some other friends which she was able to contact by phone....

Makes me want to go down to this club and slap the security guy fair and square in the face....All I can say is thank god someone was watching over my daughter that night and nothing serious happened to her.....

And as for you first time parents with young daughters going out to night clubs here in Adelaide, keep in mind "The Elephant" as a no go zone as they aren`t kid friendly....

My daughter will NOT be going back so you`ll have one less to worry about in your queue!!!!!!

Not what I would call a good start to the New Year

Luck certainly isn`t running my way at present....Just before Xmas we were having car trouble....RAdiator wasn`t preforming properly so we do the right thing and seek the professional....A new radiator was needed or so we were told....$430 later thanks for coming....Not a week later and still we had trouble..Losing coolant but not seeing any leaks....So back we go to get it sorted out...New problem and another $70.... After a week or two I found I was having to top the radiator up again...Surely NO but alas YES, looks like we are back at square one again...Losing coolant but no leaks that we can see....So hubby will be getting on to the so called specialist when they open to let him know how UNHAPPY we are....I think this guy believes we have a money tree growing out in the backyard....Either that or we have Suckers written clearly in bold letters on our forheads.... That`s the fisrt of our break downs..... The other is our washing machine....We found a great secondhand one, right size for the family and well within our budget as we had to take into consideration the price of hiring a trailer...All was going along nicely for 2 weeks then Christmas eve it stopped dead on me....Wash cycle is all good but no rinse or drain which means only one thing , the water pump....So now I need to make a decision, do I save for a new washing machine or do I pay for someone to come out and fix this one....Either way I`ll be having to save the pennies.... One positive is that it still washes and that it`s summer so drip drying won`t be a problem.... And here we are a few days into the New YEar and things aren`t going the way I would like them to be...Hope this isn`t a sign of things to come or it could be a very long year...:)

the end of another year

I know it`s been forever since i`ve ventured over ..I have shocked myself also..:)

Can you believe that we are at the end of another year already...I`m sure, no i`m positive the years are flying by faster or is it because i`m getting older???

This year we had a lovely 3 days of celebrating Christmas with family...That`s the trouble with having such a big family, trying to get everyone together at the same time so hence 3 days of cleaning preparation, cleaning and so on and so on....It all started Christmas eve and finished the day after Christmas....

Honestly speaking I was absolutely exhausted...After the final family get together I put myself to bed (early) and slept solidly for 12 hours and I NEVER do that....

Boy oh boy did I get spoilt this year by everyone, secretly it felt good...

Now we`re on the final stretch, one more family get together to see in the New Year...Something else which hubby and I for alot of years have never really worried about...Usually it`s stay at home , have a few drinks and nibblies wait till 12 then put ourselves to bed...Exciting stuff huh??..lol....

But not this year my friends....Pool party coming up at my sisters place and mind you we will be needing the pool...Just a mild 43 degrees here in Adelaide...Hottest New Years Eve in a century...

What a way to see in the New Year...

Well I would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a very Happy and safe new year...

Wonder what 2011 will bring????

What life can dish us

It`s been a bit of a see saw week for emotions.

I ran into my half sister last week whom I haven`t seen for a couple of months now and she looked rather flustered,,,,

After the usual chit chat she hit me with her news....

She had stated that of late she has become very forgetful, and I said jokingly welcome to my world.....

My excuse is age what`s yours I said with a wry smile, as you see there is 20 years difference in our age....I`ve always seen myself more of a mother figure to her rather than a big sis....

After she had explained her symptons to her doctor she was referred to a specialist at the local hospital which is when I ran into her...

She has been diagnosed with a brain tumor...

Well you could have knocked me over with a feather....

It was like listening to the ailments of what my hubby has all over again as you see she has epilepsy also....Mind you only recently as 8 months ago she had her 3rd child and the delivery had complications where my sis had lost oxygen to the brain so hence the epilepsy....

So now she has had her CT scan and naturally the doctor has given her the worst case scenerio...

The tumor is sitting right on the brain stem which is pretty much in- opperable and with that they told her they give her 12 months.....

They have given her the option of trying radiotherapy to start with .....

Then the optimest steps in, me....

I explained to her that they said exactly the same thing to hubby, they gave him 8 months nearly 10 years ago and praise the lord he is still here with me to this day....

There is always hope and I said to her that you have alot to live for especially because of the fact you have 3 small girls who rely on you.....

She left with a postive outlook after we spoke and I hope that she feels the same way come the future....

What a storm

Wow, what a weekend we had with such extreme weather conditions....

It`s been many years since I have witnessed this...

It brought back childhood memories when walking home from school getting drenched and frozen to the bone....As soon as you walked into the door it was off with the clothes and into a nice hot bath to thaw out....

My youngest has never seen so much rain which we had in the last couple of days and he definitely couldn`t fathom the fact that I had to walk home from school.....My how much has changed...

I wonder is it safe to say we actually might be on the other side of the drought???...:)

Needless to say not much happened this weekend as one wasn`t game to venture too far from home....

But as always as quick as the storm front hit it is now quite a pleasant day so it`s outside to see what damage has taken place....

Lot`s of broken staues much to my dismay...

Oh well looks like an excuse to me to go out and buy myself some new ones....

I`m on a roll

My 18 year old daughter has had her L plates for nearly on a year now so she thought that she should start to get serious about learning to drive.."worst luck for me"

After much deliberation we came to a agreement to save my sanity that she go through a reputable driving school and let their drivers teach her the correct procedures, plus i`ll save money on hair dyes...:)

So far so good...5 lessons down and she is gaining confidence..

Now she wants me to start taking her out again, there goes my confidence.....

I have no doubt that she is a very good driver BUT!!!!!!...

On a different note I have been on a diet for well over 3 months now and surprisingly I am doing well...

Life in general was getting me down before we made the move to the new house and honestly I had let myself go....

I had to do something before all was lost....3 months on , two dress sizes smaller and nearly 20 kilos lighter i`m feeling pretty damn good...

Now I have more energy and a very positive attitude on life, I am starting to see more positives and when i`m happy we have a happy family....

All I need now is for the weather to warm up...

It`s been a bitterly cold and wet winter this year....

Plenty of rain for the little bit of garden I have managed to get going in between rain and hail...

Thankfully the next few days will be pleasant which means one thing for me, outside pulling weeds and visiting my favourite store Bunnings...

I really should have shares with that store...:)

A chance to blog (shock)..:)

I`ve found my way back here again..Time sure does pass you by!!!!

So much has been going on with my life of late there never seems to be enough hours in a day....

Now for a quick update since my last post....

The move went very smoothly....Very little in the breakage department and I had the house how I wanted it within a week...Inside that is, outside well that is still a work in progress....The weather hasn`t been very helpful in that department as it`s been bitterly cold and wet....But overall it is slowly coming together...

And ofcourse a new house meant new furniture..NATURALLY!!!!!

You know me, any excuse to hit the shops and I had a ball....:)

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On to other news now....

I BECAME A GRANDPARENT IN THE MIDDLE OF jULY :)

A beautiful baby girl Isobella Grace....As much as it saddened me that my son had started a family so young he has made me proud as he is such a devoted father to my little grand baby....He is a changed young man and so grown up now in his attitude to family and what it means.....

They are very blessed to have such a beautiful baby who at this stage is so placid....She is a very good baby and yes i`ve put my hand up for baby sitting duties...lol

..............................................................................................................

And last but by no means least my great grandmother celebrated her 102nd birthday just last week....

Age is finally (and I say this with tongue in cheek) caught up with her....

A few months ago it was best decided that she now live in a nursing home as she was finding things a little difficult to manage on her own.....

She is so amazing though....At 100 years of age she was still getting out and about and loved to work in her garden....

I love her so much and she is an inspiration in my life....

I`m out of here

Over the past 12 months I have watched the area we have been living in slowly disappear...

We live in a Government housing area and here in SA alot has been happening with these old houses...It`s out with the old and replacing them with brand new houses....

What was 2 homes on a block is now four..

Much smaller yards which i`m liking and more living space on the inside which I like more....

Well our turn has come..We received a phone call early last week saying that they have a new home for us...Woo hoo....

Am I happy or what....Hubby and I went and inspected the new property and we liked what we saw....Only disappointing thing is that our swimming pool won`t fit into the new backyard so looks like we`ll be selling that and "maybe" come next summer invest in a smaller one as we do love to swim ...I`m not a huge fan of the sea, too many kreepy things in that water..lol

The kids are so excited about the move whereas a different story with mum and dad... STRESS CITY here we come...:)

Moving date is in 3 weeks time, just waiting for the removalists to drop off the packing cartons and then I can begin with the inside...

That part i`m not at all excited about, so many things to pack, where do I start....

I`ve forgotten what it`s like to move as it`s been so long....Not to mention the amount of stuff one accumulates over the years.

So i`ll probably see you all on the other side of the move everyone....

What a month

Yes it`s me, i`m back....

Sorry for the absence but as you can well imagine my life has been all over the place since my last blog....

Where the heck do I start....

Firstly the most important news is hubby and I have sorted out our differences...We are destined to be in each others lives..For better, for worse so they say.....:)

ummm what else???

Well school holidays are over with and Daniel actually went to school with no hic-cups...He loves his new teacher, even made a new friend and is eager for the weekend to be over so he can go back...

It all looks positive , so far, touch wood....

Krystal did ok in her HSC results but still had to complete one more subject to get into uni so after much deliberation with her we came to the conclusion that she do Year 13 and improve on some of the subjects that she already did last year....

This means she is doing another 4 subjects this year and yes another year of torture for her and me which unfortunately comes with the territory of high school life.....

At least she will be better prepared as she now knows what lies ahead for her....

As for the teenage son Joshua well looks like he won`t be going back to school...

I`m sure you all recall a while back that his g/f was pregnant....Well that was another false alarm but just before Christmas it happened again and this time much to my dismay it`s the real deal...Third time lucky for some....So 16 years of age and he will become a father in mid July....

He has a summer job at the moment but desperately looking for a fulltime one so that they can move out from home..

I don`t see him or hear much from him these days but i`m ok with it...

I`m just letting him go and he can work life journeys out for himself....

I do hope everyone had an enjoyable Christmas and that the New Year has started out on a positive note like mine has....♥♥♥

It`s looking a lot like Christmas

It`s come around way too quick for me this year and I am in no way ready for it...

I have no enthusiasm what so ever...

Thankfully I did my Christmas shopping throughout the year otherwise things would be grim for the kids...

I`ve had some pretty stressful days, actually, honestly since hubby has left stress arrived...

Rotten mongrel of a thing...(stress that is)

I`ve had more than my fair share of dealing with our government departments and I hope i`ve seen the last of them...

I feel like i`ve been thrown to the wolves and mentally i`m not coping...

One good thing to come from all of this is I have shed the excess weight I had gained...

Having no appetite tends to do that to you..

In less than two weeks I have lost a whole dress size....

The bad thing is now I need a new wardrobe of clothes...lol

On the job hunting side I have put my name down at just about every shop in our local area..

I`m praying that I hear something from someone soon...

I just need someone to give me a go but not having worked in 12 years doesn`t look good on a resume....

As for hubby well we are talking at least...

We`ve decided it best that we live seperately for a while but still be together..

Make sense????....lol

Formal night

Today was utter chaos LITERALLY....

If you have a teenage daughter you`ll know exactly where i`m coming from...

You see it was formal night..

The events of all events..

And everything had to be perfect from the hair down to the shoes...

OMG i`m so glad i`ll have to only go through this ONCE.....

But all jokes aside I am so terribly proud of my daughter and what she has achieved...

And I was extremely happy that my son has finally come around also....

Below is the finished result of my daughter Krystal after 5 hours of getting ready...

Yes 5 hours folks...

And she had a cheek to tell me it was my fault for making her be a girl....lol

As for the son well men can relate to this..

10 minutes....

Yep the male gender certainly have it easy in more ways than one...

A reality check

Isn`t it interesting life in general?...

You make plans for your future only for them to fall apart before your very eyes...

Twice now this has happened to me and i`m pretty sure I won`t be going back for thirds...

One could say that my life has been completely turned around as now I find myself as a single mum once again...

Yes my husband whom I have cared for over the past 14 years didn`t like the conversation we had over the weekend about how I would like him to do more for me and our children...

This was part of a long overdue conversation that needed to be had...

It was easier for him to walk out on us apparently rather than try to work something out...

So now I find myself feeling rather lost, confused and overwhelmed with the situation that has suddenly been thrusted upon me.....

I`ve had to be strong and have my witts about myself these past 48 hours...

Not much in the sleep department and plenty of phone calls to the relevant government departments have certainly kept me busy....

I am starting to feel anxious as reality is sinking in that I am about to be thrusted in to the big wide world again seeking a job....

In actual fact when you have been surrounded by the same 4 walls for the past 14 years doing what you know best and to have it pulled from under your feet it`s pretty damn scary...

For me anyway....

BUT i`m sure with time and the right sort of people around me I as a person will, yes I will be a better person for the experience...

For now I am making sure that my kids don`t suffer in any way, shape or form....

As a mother I will always be there for them and I know that they will always be there for me too.....

My GENUINE reasons

Good grief "I have been slack" where blogging is concerned....

I have genuine reasons though..

:Do you believe me"?

No I wouldn`t either...lol

Life has been rather topsy turvey though...

Krystal with her HSC and troubles with the boy at school...

Then health issues with the hubby...

Oh did I mention sibling issues as well.....

Ah yes just another day in "Days of our Life"...lol

That`s what you get for being head honcho of the family...You wear everyone elses problems and basically there is no time for yourself...

The things you love to do such as

BLOGGING....

So people i`m on a tight schedule...

Tonight`s entertainment will be Krystals Valourdictory or in easy to understand language "her graduation"...

And won`t it be fun spending time with the ex outlaws....

Things haven`t been exactly rosey there since the exit of my teenage son..

Who mind you still hasn`t spoken to me since June, his departure date....

So i`m about to put on a brave face, grit my teeth and be on my best behaviour for my daughters sake....

Even though all I want to do is maybe throw something at them like tomatoes...

Wish me luck...

I`ll be needing it plus more...lol

Who needs duck hunting when they come to you

With daylight saving it gives me the opportunity to do some extra chores outside so last night I thought I would go potter around in the garden...

I walked out into the backyard and was very surprised at what I saw swimming around in the pool......

I couldn`t quite believe my eyes so I quickly but quietly ran back inside to get the trusty camera and take a few snaps.....

Daniel my youngest thought it might be a good idea to feed him whilst he was here swimming around in the pool as if he had taken ownership....

Cheeky if you ask me...lol

Hubby reckons not to be surprised if the whole family turns up soon...

Now won`t that be fun....

Personally I was thinking Christmas dinner....

sebaceous nevas operation

I have had an incredible amount of feedback with people having or knowing someone who have a sebaceous nevas....

A while ago I told you of my son booked in to hospital to have it removed as it was giving him lots of grief especially now that he is going through the teeange years....

The operation went well with only one slight hic cup and that was trying to get the anesethtic to work.....

55 staples later and a bit of a sore head he is minus that annoying growth on his head....

Now he has self esteem back and not worrying about trying to cover it up....

I`m glad for his sake that we did go ahead with the operation and that there were no hidden complications.....

He has since had the staples removed and had a final check over and has been given the all clear...

No more follow ups and it`s goodbye sebaceous nevas....