Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A reality check

Isn`t it interesting life in general?...
You make plans for your future only for them to fall apart before your very eyes...
Twice now this has happened to me and i`m pretty sure I won`t be going back for thirds...
One could say that my life has been completely turned around as now I find myself as a single mum once again...
Yes my husband whom I have cared for over the past 14 years didn`t like the conversation we had over the weekend about how I would like him to do more for me and our children...
This was part of a long overdue conversation that needed to be had...
It was easier for him to walk out on us apparently rather than try to work something out...
So now I find myself feeling rather lost, confused and overwhelmed with the situation that has suddenly been thrusted upon me.....
I`ve had to be strong and have my witts about myself these past 48 hours...
Not much in the sleep department and plenty of phone calls to the relevant government departments have certainly kept me busy....
I am starting to feel anxious as reality is sinking in that I am about to be thrusted in to the big wide world again seeking a job....
In actual fact when you have been surrounded by the same 4 walls for the past 14 years doing what you know best and to have it pulled from under your feet it`s pretty damn scary...
For me anyway....
BUT i`m sure with time and the right sort of people around me I as a person will, yes I will be a better person for the experience...
For now I am making sure that my kids don`t suffer in any way, shape or form....
As a mother I will always be there for them and I know that they will always be there for me too.....

10 comments:

  1. Dear Mandy,

    thank you for sharing this with me, I can only hope you find the love and support you get in return helps make your foundation stronger.

    I am sorry to see that Matt was all in for being cared for by you but out for doing anything like supporting you in return.

    Since I have known you I have always worried about how much you have had to face relatively alone, so much on your shoulders. I can only hope that now you will find some weight lifts once you have a bit of freedom and hopefully a job that will give you a good boost in the self esteem department. I wish I had a job to give you myself, but I truly believe there is something good out there for you and I wish you the strength and peace to find it.

    I also wish I was there to give you a great big hug, but instead I am here, sending you an 'energy hug' a hug with all my heart.
    With love and support always on tap for you Mandy.
    xxx
    Starry

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  2. Thankyou so very much Starry for your kind words and enthusiasm for me....The past year has been a real struggle for me especially in the optimism department but always I do try to look for the good....
    Currently I feel at a loss on what my future holds for me and the kids but it`s only early days....
    All I know is that I have no intentions going back to the life I had...There has to be more for me and let`s face it i`m no spring chook anymore...lol....
    I receive your hug with open arms and thank you and my many friends for their love and support...
    Without you guys I don`t know how I would cope...xxx

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  3. Hey Mandy, You have always been an inspiration to everyone who knows you, getting so much done and always taking care of everyone before yourself. Even now you are considering your kids and how they will cope over your own feelings ...take some 'me' time to do the things you've always enjoyed doing and know that our thoughts and wishes are with you. You're a great person and deserve only the best. Kym

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  4. i'm sending you a cyber hug too mandy. i hope you'll be ok. Fran

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  5. Oh Mandy if it's not your kids causing you sleepless nights it's hubby. After all you have done for him to have him walk out instead of giving something back must have felt like a punch in the stomach. You will be fine as you are a strong woman and will find your feet sooner rather the later.

    The thought of having to find a job can be scary specialty if you haven't worked in a long time and if you are over 40 as the older you get the harder it seems to get but you will find something and you have good kids even if they do try you at times.

    Even though we haven't actually met you come across to me as a survivor and I have often wished I was a strong as you are.

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  6. Sorry to hear this sad news. I can't believe after all you have done for him that he should do this to you. As others have said it may make you into a stronger, more independant woman and hopefully will give you more time to look after yourself. Hopefully your children will be able to help you through this crises. Hugs and best wishes.

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  7. OH Mandy,
    So sorry to hear this has happened :(
    Not much more to say is there?
    I'm sure you'll be fine, your such a strong woman.
    Sam

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  8. Sorry to hear of your break-up, Mandy. I'm going through a rough patch, perhaps it's in the air? I'm sure you'll shoulder-on but hope that some positives come out of this as well. Lots of warmth and hugs from me xo

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  9. Cyber hugs all round.... sorry you are going through all this..... Take Care .....Kim

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  10. So sorry Mandy......trite thing to say but from experience "That does not kill you makes you stronger".....I can never find the right words in troubled times but I can empathize with your pain.

    Kind regards,

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