Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A good outcome for all in the end

It was a very emotional day at the nursing home yesterday...
From reports we had heard about Matts mother being settled and happy in her new environment we were eager to see her....
When we arrived it wasn`t what we expected....
Yes she did look well but both Matt and I could tell by the way she was speaking and her lack of motivation and enthusiasm to get out of bed that she was far from happy...
It was heart breaking to sit back and watch what was a vibrant woman just give up on everything that she valued most,,,,
Her will to live....
She is far from happy....She didn`t say anything but then she didn`t need too, we could tell....
We stayed for an hour or so and then went back to Matt`s brothers house...
This was where the mother lived, with her youngest son for twenty plus years....
I burst into tears saying I can`t stand by and watch her go through life like this....
He was bewildered by what we had said to him as he was only in there yesterday and she was fine according to him...
He rang her whilst we were there, she finally told him the truth, she wasn`t happy there but she didn`t want to say anything to upset everyone...
He told her he was coming to pick her up today and bring her back home...
Well you should have heard the glee in her voice...
She instantly picked up knowing that she was finally going to come back home....
She asked the son how did you know that I wasn`t happy....
He told her what we had seen on our visit....
She laughed for the first time in ages and said that she has never been able to hide anything from Matt and myself...
So now what we will be doing is rather than leaving it all up to Matt`s brother to care for her is we will organise in home care....
A carer will come out twice daily to tend to her needs while she is in her "own " surroundings where she feels safe , comfortable and most of all HAPPY.....
And finally I told her off , jestfully of course never to try and hide her true feelings....
Not that she can hide them from Matt and myself....lol


  1. So glad it has a happy ending, what a relief, and what a great and committed family you are part of. I am so glad son was happy to have her return to him. Oh what a great happening, I am thrilled.
    thanks for sharing, xxx Starry

  2. Hi Mandy
    It's like a fairytale ending with Matt's mum. It's good to see things worked out so well. I'll try and visit you as much as posible on here,as I have the same problem as you and the others are experiencing. My view pages are down to one page,and that's been frozen since Friday of last week with nothing new showing,except for (4) blogs at a time,in the right hand side under latest blogs.
    I'll see you,Ponder-osa, Keith.

  3. hi Mandy..that is so good to hear. so many put people in care and just leave them there regardless..it will still be hard work at times but with all of you pulling together and arranging inhome care things will be better for everyone.well done.

  4. Starry yes it has ended happily...Mother is home now and cheerfully chomping away on what she calls decent food...lol....There is still much to be done for her but as we speak arrangements are being made....

  5. Keith it`s dreadful over there in pond land....I couldn`t take the frustrations any more so until they fix it I won`t be back...You should come join us here....Much more flexible with it`s blogging system setup....

  6. L Harry it`s so true....The few times we have visited you see these poor elderly people looking lost and bewildered...I must admit i`m not very good when it comes to nursing homes....I feel sorry for them all and I just want to take them home with me....
    I tried working in one once upon a time but I got too emotionally attached...It takes a certain kind of person to work in these places and even more so to live in one....

  7. My dad was miserable when we first moved him to his nursing home.....he was begging me to check out the other place... turns out one nurse was trying to get him to do the physio following his hip replacement.

    They assured us he would settle in (this place was by far the best place I had seen)... 8 months later things are good - he is stirring the staff, and has a couple of mates - obviously at only 73 its not where he would want to be - but physically he cant live alone.

    Next time the need arises - you may find a better suiting place...

    Good luck with it....Kim

  8. Grotty Yachty,
    the thing is, we all end up in that situation, unless we kark it asleep or something.
    I sent this next bit as an email to your pond address and it returned. I could not sleep last night. Can you tell?
    I have not been to your blog very often, bigblog, and when I did, I had a shocking time there, and I tried to get to shazam and Lonz today and failed. I just get frustrated there now. I miss miss miss everyone though.
    I am at the internet cafe at work. $5 per hour. OUCH!
    Here is my email.
    “I am sorry. It is herpes” and “Are you sleeping with my husband? I need to know”. These are two text messages that I recently read. Add eyes popping out of head here........X

    Our oldest receptionist, she is leaving and when my phone died, she gave me “hers”. There were 429 received messages and 238 sent, and of course I read them. I live aboard a sinking yacht, with no power. Of course, of course I read them.

    The body lice that I caught
    (no sex. Not from backpacker hot and panting sex, just from dirty linen)
    are not even known to be in Australia. The doctor thought they were great. Ter-r-f-IC!!!!!!
    Adult: Clear pale body. The size of a green ant.
    Lava: prawn shape body, with long legs. Starts off black, then raw prawn like, clear body and mature; they turn clear pale white. All bite.

    I cut off my hair.

    Louse lava were in my nose. MY NOSE!!

    In my ears. In the wrinkles above my knees. Between toes; not my fanny or underarms.
    (Is there something in THAT? WHAT? Is my fanny not good enough for foreign vermin or WHAT?!)
    Hubby has not had one. Uh-uh. Not a one. Cats, ditto.

    I told a fellow yachty,
    'I caught backpacker body lice and had no sex. NONE! I was ripped off'.
    He said,
    'I had the backpacker sex, and, caught the lice'.
    Two Dutch girls, which he delighted in boasting about. EW!

    I am a mobile toxic waste dump. You name it, I have poured it on myself. My boss paid for the chemist's poision. Oh the drama-drama at the chemist. I entered and the shop assistants ran to serve me, baring bright happy smiles. That is an out and out lie. They completely ignored me. No one served me. Gee they are miserable. And so I just stood there as they complained about customers, locals. Eventually I said loudly,
    'I have lice'.
    And was served and out of there in record time. Now they will be complaining about me!

    The lady at the dress shop, when I told her about the body lice, (her Hubby is the town cleaning contractor, and I was asking her about a job) she said,
    'Oh yes. Didn't you know? The backpackers come in and try on clothes and they leave bed bugs and, lice in the clothes all the time'.
    'Are you kidding me/'
    'No. I have to have the pest control man come in to regulary spray the shop'.

    So far, nothing has worked 100%. The horrid creatures writhe from the time the pop out of their homephrodite mother/father's...vagina? Does a louse HAVE a vagina.
    Google. Goo-oogle.
    Then they just grow, and run. Forrest Gump has nothing on this lot. By the time I can get the lice comb to my head, the louse has run from there and down across my eyebrows and is instantly bouncing between my breasts. Quick. Tell the cops. These body lice need speeding fines.

    They can hide in the tiniest wrinkle, and I have many. Not that I have hair. Did I tell you that I cut it off? I will attempt to upload a Profile photo of the deed. Having no hair is not me. I cried bucket loads cutting it, and am very, very depressed. Plus, I look rediculous. Think Opera House on acid.

    (I miss having a blog).

    Where was I? Oh yes. I bent over, grabbed a hand full of hair and hacked it off. The gay guy at work, he said,
    (hands on hips - purse lips and waggle index finger right right right in 'my' face)
    'No. No. No. NO. Noooo. Now you look like an old B grade, porn star'.
    'You can talk; you bald bitch'.
    The manager said,
    'Now now'.
    The gay guy and I do not get on. Can you tell?

    Enough of lice.

    Hubby wrecked my machine. He attempted to fit the new keyboard, and now I can not unlock it on start up, unless I use Dad's keyboard and the USB thingo, which he needs. Goody.

    Hubby's bed ridden again at the moment. His specialist said,
    'It astounds that no one has put you on the pension'.
    So now Hubby is being put on the pension. What a hasssle that is. Plus, he kept going on about just how good Hubby is to cope with all this, and never once mentioned me,
    (my favorite subject as you know)
    and 'I' am going through it too. And, and, and.....Hubby can barely walk, and yet he has to drive to see the specialist. What is so special about that? He should do house calls. I could not drive him as I had to work.

    WORK! Oh Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. The new cleaner, “ThinSobStory” is worse than Ima. I know. I know. That is mind blowing but....true! Her Hubby ran off. To Brazil. BRAZIL! Who does THAT?! I do not blame him at all. She is a mung bean hippy, KIWI, who makes sushi, teaches yoga and does massage. And soooooo annoying. She knows everything and tells me hippy stuff that I read yeeeearrrrs ago. I am polite and instead of biting off her nose, I just keep working, although, she 'has' to stop when talking. ARGHHHH!

    She is soo thin and when we first met, I asked,
    'Have you been wormed?'
    and so she is extremely pleased to be working with me. Yeah right.

    She, (cat's mother bitch whore) is the boss's friend. Oh by gee willickers, how good is THAT?! So far, she has not turned up once; a migraine, Been hung over three times and left early for those and yesterday, ARGHHHHH! She took two and a half hours to wash up, sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Ima can do the washing up in the rapid in reverse in an hour.....ARGHHHH!!! They are the Mogodon twins.

    The manager's relationship broke up. One manager stayed, her, and he left. Grog. Him, not her. I saw him the other day and said,
    'It is strange not having you at work. There is no one telling me to colour co-ordinate the mattresses'.
    (he did make me do that crap)
    and he just waffled on about the barman and what good times they had. Hu? He lost his job, relationship and standing in the community, I mean, staggering in the community and all he talks about is missing the barman? What the?

    The sleeze bag barman left. He was a breast man and how is, get this...he is milking cows. Typical.

    The mother of five was sober for a week. Now she is not. Three kids were taken by their fathers, and the two little girls, their fathers did not want them. Poor things.

    The pensioner was put in a home by devious methods and, GASP!!!! They are getting divorced. I thought by the time you are 80, relationships are easy peasy. Not so. Incontinence is nothing compared to arguing when both deaf. I dread the day.

    Hubby flattened the batteries by watching too much TV. No wonder, he 'is' soooo bored, and so we borrowed a friend's generator, and it fouled a plug, and I could not find the plug socket. Hubby, in pain, tired, spat the dummy. He spoke to me in an awful way and so I said,
    'I wish that I was holding a knife right now'.
    'So do I'.
    Ho hum. Same old same old. (exccept with no hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

    This cyclone is boring me and I may louse it, I mean lose it soon, as the boat leaks so badly now.

    Do you recall my M + M machine? We are so broke, the mortgage is taking most of my pay, and the M + M machine, and selling the memory sticks is saving us. I also take the food from the free shelf at work, kids leave food behind after their Fraser 4 x 4 trip every day, and I save so much money just not buying milk, margerine, cooking oil, eggs, low fat – bacon – oh yeah riggghhhttt, and, bread. Healthy bird seed bread; YUCK!

    Okay, that is it. I sent this to your bigpond account and it was returned, so I put it here instead.

  9. HiMandy...(bevally).. have missed you all, and so glad I tried here today and saw Grotty's comment.. never knew how much I've missed her.!! hope you don't mind me popping in, was keeping up with everyone on b/blog.. the not being able to leave comments was ****,

  10. Kim....It`s so hard when it`s a parent on knowing what the right thing is to do....Hopefully in her case the in home care will work...If not then maybe we will try another nursing home, one which she will like...It`s all trial and error I suppose...Glad to hear that your dad has settled down though....

  11. LMAO....
    Well hello Grotty...Wondered when you would show your face...
    Good grief woman I actually thought you were joking about the lice thing.....The joys of cleaning up after backpackers....I`d be washing them down with dettol before they stepped one foot through the door....

    Don`t even get me started on BB....I am sooo over that place at the moment...I tell you Grotty it`s gone downhill...Major mudslide...
    I can see there is never a dull moment with you and the locals plus work....lol....
    Get your backside over here and do a blog....

  12. Hello Bevally....
    Yes frustration plus over there in those ponds....Grotty certainly knows how to put a smile on ones face...I`m still laughing to myself with what she has written....lol....
    You can drop by here anytime you like Bevally....I think the pond is going to lose some big business soon if they keep going the way they have been...

  13. Yes Mandy, I'm still going hammer and tongs with b/pond, infact had a bust up this morning with them, it's been three months now and still no joy.... this looks pretty good to me , what spot do you sign up with? found blogger on google... which one do you go into...sorry to be a pain.. I'm not toooo cluey with the pc!!

  14. You`re not a pain....Go into blogger first one where it says create your free blog....Any other help you need and there are plenty of us to give you advice....
    It`s much better here for uploading photos ect....And the best part is you are never timed out...lol

  15. Hi Mandy, that is a beautiful blog! I think it's tremendous that you heard what she wasn't saying! you guys are such a caring lot! very rare!
    And to Grotty I miss you! come to blogger you are too clever and funny not to be heard/read!

  16. hi mandy, i almost forgot what your post was about coz i read grotty's comment. i miss her blogs too. glad about your mil. that's great news. Fran

  17. Thanks Shazam....Luckily we can read between the lines...She has settled back home nicely now and hopefully things will work out for the best....
    I think we all miss Grotty...

  18. Hi Gran,not hard to do after the Grotty comment...Quite intriguing as what she has been up too these past few weeks...lol

  19. Fran...not gran...omg...I can`t see for looking...lmao

  20. It is good that you found out how she really felt and that you were able to take her home so many can't go home it just isn't possible.

    The pond has been driving me around the bend lately so I understand you coming here instead.

  21. True Jo-anne many can`t go home....
    The pond is enough to drive anyone nuts...lol

  22. Hi Mandy :)

    Thanks for your visit to my blog today ;)))

    Your family sound so compassionate and caring!!. I wish I had met more family members like you when I was working in nursing homes.

    It's hard at times. I've seen people really sad one day, and in the greatest of spirits the next.

    It is so lovely you have all been able to bring her back home to where she will be looked after and cherished, by the people that love her the most.

  23. Ps... Love the picture you have chosen once again to go with this post, so sweet ! :)

  24. Good to read a happy ending for Matt's mother. It's been a battle for you all. You Mandy are very kind and a caring person.

  25. Thanks for visiting Jules...Like yourself I too have seen and heard many sad stories about families and nursing homes....Luckily we were able to see the signs with hubby`s mother....

  26. Hello Margaret, thankyou....This year hasn`t started well at all for us...Sort of snowballed from the end of last year I think....Well i`m hoping now things have started to turn around.....

  27. Hi Mandy!
    LMAO..Wow you really have moved in here!
    Good to hear Matt's mum will be getting what will make her happiest...it's what should be.:)
    Hope things are settling in for you?!
    Very perceptive of you and Matt to pick up on her unhappiness!

  28. grotty,
    Your request could not be processed. Please try again.
    the oldest receptionist is leaving because she is pregnant. Not a clue who the father is. (She said that, not me) and so I said,
    'Send me a DVD of the birth, but not the stitches'.
    I think she is glad to be rid of me.
    (SHIT) she just walked past me. UGH!
    The other receptionist,
    is dating the barman, who has a sex addiction, and you know what Mandy? You are right. I need a blog.
    Ha ha.

  29. How super of you all to care so kindly for your mil. I hope it all works out. It isn't easy caring for the aged, I know because I am one.
    Great to hear from Grotty. I have often wondered if we would ever hear from her again. I got fed up with BB ages ago, I can't even be bothered to read BB's anymore.I can't believe so many others are fed up too.
    Come on over Grotty, we need your humour. Plenty of space and no time outs.

  30. A beautiful Post Mandy written by a loving and caring daughter-in-law. Well done! A great outcome for Matt's Mum and a tribute to the family.

  31. Buckets of flowers for you Mandy for instigating the bringing of your mother-in-law home.......an uplifting blog

  32. Hi Mandy
    I know I'm a bit late here,but I'm hoping that you read this and come up with some answers for me. I posted this on my other blog,that telstra have managed to block out and take over in their "slimmy scumbag ways" so I now have to use their system until I figure out how to cut them out completely. So here is my request.
    Hi !!!, Mandy.
    I hope you don't mind me E-mailing you, but I've actually signed myself on here,So now what's the forum. Not like (Big pond) there doesn't seem to be a viewing section that you can look at recent blogs. I'm very much lost as to how to get started,and would appreciate any clues that you can give me.
    Thanks "chook" much appreciated, Keith, "ponder-osa",.