Thursday, December 18, 2008

I can`t sleep

I know....I told you my last blog was going to be it until I got
This post is also on my other one but as some of you don`t go there i`ve written it here because I would really like everyones thoughts on a matter that has arisen...Here we go!!!!!
I can`t sleep, I want too but I have so much going through this head of mine... Plus I am in pain so here I find myself blogging.. My two eldest kids have been treating me like crap these past few days.... They have made me feel guilty for going away on holidays and especially because I am taking Daniel.... How short their memories are when only last year their father took them on a two week holday to Queensland and Darwin and not once did Daniel or anyone else say a thing... Bit oh no as soon as I want to go somewhere all hell breaks loose..... I`ve been in tears because of the way they have both treated me and to be honest I`m really not feeling much in a holiday mood.... To top things off I have given them each $150 to spend on whatever they want....Some of the money given from the government....As most of you know I am on carers for my hubby so we don`t have the luxuaries of being big spenders...Essentials in life come first and always have with me....I`m a big believer of food on the table, a roof over your head and the bills paid....Anything other than that is a bonus..... Well Joshua being the way he is has totally trashed his room including his mattress...It is ripped to shreds, totally destroyed ...I said to him by rights I should be buying him a new mattress with the $150 and whats left over he can get his new shoes....A $30 pair like everybody else in this world ....You see he doesn`t just want any old shoes, they have to be NIKE which conveniently cost $150.... His comment back to me was if I didn`t spend all that money on the holiday I could buy him the mattress plus his Nike shoes.... Little do they realise but Matt and myself have saved our own money for this holiday....It was money we had saved for Matt`s eldest daughters wedding but you know the story with that and why we couldn`t go.... This sort of comment plus others that have been going on for the last few days has deeply hurt me and i`m not sure as to what sort of kids I am raising now....I am truly having alot of doubts about them... I get the impression if it`s not about them then stuff everyone else....I am feeling used and most of all abused....I`m so tired and run down and i`m about ready to break.... I would really like to know your thoughts on a question i`m about to propose to you....I have my own thoughts on the matter but I would like to see how other people feel about this..... At what age do you think appropriate (if at all) that your son or daughters b/f g/f be able to stay over for the night in your home????? I`d be very interested to see some of your answers and be honest....As I said I have my own views on the matter and am curious to see whether I am close to what majority would do or say in a situation like this.... Ok so now i`m feeling a bit better for getting this off my chest....Now I know why I blog....


  1. very nice blog... by

  2. Mandy, I do hope you are happily holidaying as I write this.
    I do not have the answers to your questions on this one. As usual, I can probably tell you many of the things that do not work but not much in the way of what works.
    My belief is that so much depends on the nature of the child.
    I had a dreadful time with daughter Megan and it was suggested I improve my 'People Skills.' Still have the book but have never read it.
    I am unsure about the appropriate age for 'sleeping' together. I am still a bit 'old fashioned' and in it always too soon if it is under my roof.
    Have a wonderful holiday and know that I am wishing you lots of joy and laughter and happy kids on your return xxo

  3. I forgot to say over at bigblog that I hope you have/had a great holiday and forgot how awful you kids acted before you left.

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  5. Mandy, Do not let your children take control. YOU are the parent. How old is your son? 15? How in God's name is he going to provide for children if the 14? year old girlfriend becomes pregnant? I'll tell you----YOU will take care of the grand children----just like JoAnne. The kids will lay arounf YOUR home and bark orders. Stand on your hind legs, Mandy! Tell the brats to have a new matress in that house upon your return or never get another thing from you again---and then DO IT. And about the unwanted cat----the first time Jiohsua neglets to feet it or clean the box, take the cat to the shelter. Hind legs, Mandy. Now UP! You're in control. Take a swing at life! I'm Susan---in the upper right hand corner of the US.

  6. Hi Mandy
    hope you're enjoying your holidays and all this blah has faded into obscurity! Teenagers can be so cruel sometimes, I know, I was one. Porbably the best you can do is to try not to take it to heart and remember it's pointless to argue your case rationally with them. If they are feeling aggrieved then that is all that matters to them in the world at that moment. They are not going to be able to see the big picture or take into account your situation or things that happened last year. That was eons ago!

    Just stand your ground and don't let them bombard you with guilt. And if Joshua destroyed his mattress in a fit of rage, then he deserves to sleep on the floor until he can stop behaving like an untrained dog. Or replace the mattress with his own money.

    As far as the sleeping together thing goes, well, that's absolutely your call. It's your house and if you don't feel comfortable with it at any age then that's what the rule should be. Of course they will go behind you back, but you still have the right to dictate what goes on under your roof.

  7. Whoa.... I'm having a hard enough time with my kids now, maybe I dont want them to grow up....if it makes you feel any better, my friend is going through the same thing with her make it worse she is a single mum, recently had a trauma in her life, and has other issues too.....its all here to test us I guess....good luck with them....Kim

  8. Hi Mandy so glad you are back. You have been so missed.
    Please let us know how things are at home.
    I will definitely make an effort to get to you on Facebook pre Christmas,
    Food shopping this morning. Will get there bright and early to avoid the throngs...
    Other than that I am looking forward to a relaxing time between Christmas and New Year.
    Live life, love and laugh alway

  9. Oh dear the teenage years. You make the house rules and they either obey or leave. Most kids are sexually active by sixteen, make sure they have safe sex, make sure they know how you feel about it. Mine didn't sleep over until they were engaged.