Saturday, February 14, 2009

A mother has to do what a mother has to do

Over the past few months I have watched my teen son spiral out of control...As most of you are aware I have had a constant battle with him trying desperately to direct him on which path he should be taking....
It seems i`ve been the one doing all the hard work and him telling me what I want to hear but doing quite the opposite when i`m not around...
We have had the pregnancy scare, the running away from home ect...
Then there was the using of illicit drugs, getting friends which are older than him to buy alcohol and the list just seems to go on and on....
With all of this going on it hasn`t been doing my youngest any favours either...
He sees his big brother doing these things and starts to copy...Hanging around with older people...Smoking, trying alcohol and not coming home when he was supposed too....
It was all getting way out of control....
I never knew parenting could become so difficult and heart breaking...
I had run out of ways to try and make him see reason....He has a loving family who cares what happens to him but with this road to destruction that he is so hell bent on taking I was left with no more choices....
This wasn`t looked at lightly and I did it with a heavy heart....
I rang his father...
Explained what has been going on with him and asked him to take over the reigns for a while to see whether he can put him on the straight and narrow....
At this stage we are looking at a month , could be longer, could be shorter...
I do know if I hadn`t done this I would have burnt out and then there would be no one to look out for my other two kids....
My son hates me right about now...He didn`t want to go only because he had made plans for Valentines Day with his girl friend....Picnic on the beach with a bottle of alcohol so I found out....
This week alone I have lost 3 and a half kilos just through the stress of his behaviour.....Not that i`m complaining about that...lol
I just want my loving and caring boy back, I know he is in there somewhere....
With him being under his fathers roof, just the two of them having one on one, man to man and no pressure from his girlfriend I honestly believe he will come out the other side of this....
Now with his father doing his bit I can concentrate on getting my youngest back on track....Making friends with kids his own age...Today it`s been a good start..He has a friend over from school and they are swimming in the pool...Kids being kids and that`s the way it should be....
I just hope that I have made the right decision when it comes to my teen....

15 comments:

  1. Mandy, you're doing the best you can..the best any parent could do. I don't comment much on these things because my D3 ran off the rails no matter how hard I tried to prevent it.. My big sister told me not to worry! She said as long as you've raised them well, they will always come back to what they know.
    D3 has come back, and realised her mistakes. Im sure your boy will do the same.
    You sound like you need a cuddle and kiss... go find that man of yours and collect!! (tell him I said so..LOL)

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  2. Oh thanks Kym....I suppose there is always one child who won`t conform to the rules...I`m picking up the broken pieces that are left behind now (meaning Daniel) and try to rectify what I can with him...Hopefully not too much damage has been done...
    I do hope you are right though and he does want to see me again...

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  3. Oh Mandy, I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Speaking to Haydn's daughter Alex yesterday and she is already having trouble with Khi who is only 8. Alex says 'no respect for himself or his things.' Somehow I suspect there is so much more to it as it seems to be commonplace these days.
    I do hope that having the opportunity to be 'one on one' with his Dad will benefit Joshua. Of course getting away from the girlfriend could also be beneficial...
    You take extra special care of yourself at this time and I know things will work out with Daniel.

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  4. Hi Cheryl....
    Maybe there is something in the water that we don`t know about???...
    I`m afraid to say but since this girl has been on the scene she has caused quite a few problems for my family...Nothing but trouble with a capital T...By taking the measures I have done this will now be a problem for her and Joshua as the father lives quite some distance from where she does....
    Cheryl today has had an absolute blast....He and his friend have been swimming for a lot of the day and Daniel even pulled out some of his hot wheel cars and played with them...Things he hasn`t done in a long time...Too busy trying to be one of the big kids and trying to impress his brother....
    I dpon`t think it will take long for Daniel to get back to his old ways....
    As for me, i`m tired, very tired....An early night yet again in order....

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  5. Poor Mandy! The teen years are very trying and I hope you and your kids come through it OK. Relax with a bottle of red and a box of chocolates and a hug from Matt.

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  6. By the way I love your new template and colour scheme, a much nicer pink.

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  7. Hello Diane...
    Thanks about the template...I`ve been trying to change the image these past couple of days...
    As for the teen years I`ll be looking forward to them being over at this rate...lolI`m sure I was never this bad with my parents...hahaha

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  8. I am loving the new template....must go off and have a look at the options...

    Boy...you cant take a trick can you....hope things get sorted....especially in Daniels case, he has so long to go (of his childhood I mean)

    I was shocked big time this week, witnessing a child who had been suspended from our primary school, attempting to hide a spray can - where does a 10/11 yo get it from? Where is his parents? Apparently a window at the school had already been broken in retribution....was he planning to deface the walls too? I discreetly collected his stash, ensuring our beautiful school doesnt take any more punishment!

    Its worrying times....you can only do your best cant you!

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  9. Hi Kim....
    It is worrying times with the young generation....A lot stems from them watching too much American tv....Especially when it comes to "crews"....They copy thinking it`s cool .....
    Well yesterday I saw my boy being a kid, first time in a long time....Glad he remembers how to be one actually.....
    Sometimes you can`t blame the parents, sometimes!!!!!.....

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  10. Hi Mandy, well you must know that I understand your decision as I have been very worried about you burning out. You have made the hardest decision now is the time to see if over time it reaps rewards. Although your bare the brunt of all these trials, you have us all in your corner, cheering you on, go Mandy, go. If you ever need someone to talk about drugs with you or the kids, I am more then willing I have seen the worst on the frontline of teen drug use and how easy it is for 'normal' healthy kids to destroy their lives and futures.But hopefully, this won't be necessary, and you will find life is improving.
    xxx Starrt

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  11. Hi Mandy.....
    I'm so sorry, I've been soo self absorbed!
    Thought that Joshua may have gotten mixed up with drugs.....
    I hope his father can help sort him out...even a change of destination could be what he needs, he's seen his dad's life...why would he want to go down that road?
    Ah Teens
    I hope Daniel settles too, he's so young and impressionable.

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  12. Hi Mandy,
    Who is she? Im not allowed to say (publicly)
    Im her little secret!
    Id be really surprised if you hadn't already joined the dots..and worked it out.
    (long ago?)

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  13. Oh gosh, wow teenagers. Most of them 'have to do their thing'. I do hope all turns out ok in the end. Take time to smell The Roses.

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  14. thinking of you Mandy and sending you a hug XO Fran

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  15. Look after yourself Mandy, and I would think your actions will indicate to your younger son that no matter how much you love them you can not tolerate over an extended period unacceptable behaviour.

    I love your new template.

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