Tuesday, June 2, 2009

It`s a dark place here at the bottom of this rock pit..

I`m pretty sure I`ve hit rock bottom in the emotion department....
Usually I am the most patient person especially when it comes to my kids BUT this weekend I really lost it...
One of my sons pushed me too far and something in me snapped....
Don`t worry I didn`t take it out on him but I did take it out on the furniture and on anything that was in my path....
A major melt down....The trouble is I know i`m still not out of the woods yet....
I can`t sleep and i`m not eating properly...Caffeine and cigarettes seems to be on the menu....
In doing this my bronchitis has really flared up and what is frustrating me is i`m crying at the drop of a hat....
It`s not me at all...
The stresses of my life have caught up with me and dragged me down big time...
I feel absolutely useless as i`m struggling to deal with everyday life which in normal circumstances I find easy to deal with....
I can`t think straight and can`t make what used to be simple decisions....
My teenage son is taking advantage of me when i`m at my weakest....
I grounded him for something he did wrong...
He chose to ignore me and went out anyway....
Im at the point where I can`t manage him any longer so feel my only option is he really needs to go back to live with his father....
His behaviour isn`t doing this family any favours especially when my youngest looks up to his big brother...
Hubby wants to take us all away this long weekend and break the monotony of everything....
This might be just what we all need....

14 comments:

  1. I won't tell you it gets better because I know it doesn't seem like it right now. I just know that I certainly went through what you've described more that I'd like to admit in my years of raising kids. You're not the only one in the world to feel like that. That doesn't help, but just know that a lot of us out here feel and felt the same. My first born is lucky to be alive with what I went through with her. Tears are necessary. It's nature's Valium.

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  2. Hey Mandy,
    Sorry things are at rock bottom, I hope you enjoy the long weekend know matter what you do.
    The kids are old enough to know better....
    Love
    Sam

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  3. sorry to hear that Mandy but with all that you've been through lately i'm not surprised. sounds like some symptoms of depression. take care of yourself Mandy. i days away help. it's can't hurt. X Fran

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  4. A house full of teenagers would drive anyone bonkers. You do sound like you are suffering from stress and depression. I don't know if you are old enough but could it be....dare I say it....menopause starting. Seek help fron your GP if you don't feel better after a weekend away. Thinking of you.

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  5. everyone has a breaking point sweetheart...with all that's been happening its not surprising you've reached yours,I agree with everyone else a trip to the Doc is in order, being unwell would not be helping and it may help you with the emotional wearout too, take care honey Shazam xxxx

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  6. Mandy Please take time for you. The amount you have been through in the last few weeks is enough to break even the strongest woman. Please take the advice from your friends is good. Go see your family Dr. Tears will spill don,t bottle it up hun. Honestly Mandy, its MANDY time! Your in my thoughts I don't live far from you so even if you wanted to meet up for a coffee Id be more than honored to finally meet the awesome woman Ive been reading for the last two years. Ive been where your at it's not pretty but believe me when I say you will come out of this stronger (if that's possible) because your are an extremely strong Lady

    Take care of YOU please
    Blessed be
    Traci

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  7. Lucy....
    I was so sure life was and issupposed to get easier the older you get....lol...I hat feeling out of control especially when it comes to the kids.....

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  8. Sam....
    Hi lovely.....Life can only get better, can`t it????......Looks like crappy weather for the long weekend so not sur now as to whethr we go.....

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  9. Fran....Quite possibly Fran....I lack motivation for absolutely everything....Tired from not sleeping ect but life keeps moving...Doesn`t top for any of us.....I`ll et there though....

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  10. Diane....I have been wondering this myself for a while now..Maybe????.I haven`t had or been able to find time to get to the doctors....Ithink i`m more scared of finding out ...lol

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  11. Shazam....Thanks hun....I know I need too eventually....Need to get me some of that motivation...Got any to spare???

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  12. Lady Traci....Oh thankyou for yor kind words, it`s very kind of you....It`s been a rather emotional couple of months ....It will get better it`s just going to take time.....
    Believe me though I am far from awesome, i`m just an everyday mum who tries to do her best for her family ....
    I keep telling myself "one day" i`ll have more than enough me time....Just not now...lol

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  13. The only nearly good thing from hitting rock bottom is that there is only one way to go and that is up, unfortunately what we sometimes think is rock bottom isn't.........It can be surprising how much we can take at times.

    As you know I am not coping real well at the moment myself so you have my sympathy, you're strong and you will come through this.

    See a doc can't hurt, you never know some good may come out of it depends I think on the doctor. Those who have never been the parent of a teenage really have no idea what type of stress you are suffering.

    You need to keep thinking tomorrow is another day and that they do love you even when they are acting like right little so and so's and pushing your buttons just because the can.

    Remember Life's To Short To Be Miserable And Tomorrow is a New Day.

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  14. Mandy it's Ken 08 June 09
    This has been going on all year!
    It's about time you looked in the mirror
    and said I'm a changed person and there's
    no living in the past now.
    When my mother couldn't control me she
    was told just become your son's best
    friend and she did. As for hating yourself,
    Just count your blessing each day.
    cya friend.

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