Thursday, June 5, 2008

Sometimes it`s more than I can handle

Second time round marriages can be difficult at the best of times especially when you`re dealing with ex`s and kids.... My hubby has always treated me with the upt most respect and he expects everyone else to do the same... Last night all hell broke loose as teenage son back answered one too many times to me and Matt finally chastised him....He had had enough of the way my son speaks to me.... Usually Matt will be in the back ground and let me try to deal with issues that come up about my kids....Not last night.... I let Matt go as it was about time he did take on the roll of Step Dad.....By that I mean he is here day and night for these kids...More so than what their biological father is....They are lucky to see him a couple of times throughout the year, so I feel he has a right to say his piece in the way the kids are behaving.... All houses have rules and it doesn`t kill someone to have a little respect and manners....I`ve always been, treat those as you would want to be treated..... Well son didn`t like the extra attention did he....Didn`t like the fact that a male told him off for being down right rude.....Plus I think it was a shock because Matt has very rarely stepped in on my behalf....Sticking up for me... After he had his tantrum of punching the crap out of his stereo which we bought him for Christmas this year ( and broke it at the same time) he comes out and says to me that Matt has nothing to do with our conversations and tell him to stop trying to be my father..... I saw red..... This has never been Matt`s intention (to be the father)....He has always stipulated to the kids that you only have one father so you can look at me as being your friend.... I Gave him the low down and basically said that Matt has been more of a father to him and only cares for his well being....That he is lucky to have someone who cares about him and takes an interest in what he is doing..... Blah blah blah...... I`m afraid my son has an awful lot of growing up to do....He tries to act the big tough man in front of his friends but can`t deal with real life issues.... Then he tells me if Matt does it again he will leave..... What is it with kids these days????? Always the leave act!!!!!! I left it with him that he has shown to me that he has NO RESPECT or love for me or anyone else in this family..... Everything has to be about HIM and only HIM.... Just like his father!!!!!! I stormed off to bed and let him stew on what I had said... Shit all I`m asking for is to be treated like a mother.... Not one of his goony little friends in the school yard.... Honestly is that too much to ask for????


  1. no, it's not too much to ask at all. i feel for you. hope it improves soon. he will eventually get through all this. it's a long, hard road. hang in there. be nice to yourself.

  2. OH Mandy, You are having a bad time of it. It must be so hard for you and Matt. Hopefully angry son will come to his semnses soon. he not only has the teenage rebellion thing but probably feels angry that his biological father doesn't care for him much so he takes it out on you and Matt Continue being consistant inexpecting respect. let him know you love him but not his behaviour. Good luck have a red wine.

  3. Mandy,
    You are so right, I speak with mothers of teenagers at work and the "leaving home" is the cop out to escape normal household rules...and the kids know it is a blackmail tool to do as they like and some do leave home. I have seen parents and in a particular case Grandparents give in and their life has lost something as they pander to the selfishness of some children.

    The "you are not my father" is also an excuse and you and Matt have been right in not trying to supplant the father role as that belongs to his father and if he does not step up to the plate is not your fault, your sons fault or Matt's fault. I had a serious breakdown some years ago and the head doctor advised me that if life hits you in the face and if bad things happen if it does not kill you, one either emerge with steel in your back or become an emotional cripple. You have steel in your back that is for sure and your son needs to know that you have provided him with food, shelter, love and a lioness looking out for his welfare...many many children do not have half of what he has.....

  4. Yes i was brought up with morals and standards...
    I know i blew my top at Josh but he's been more on the right track since i had my say....