Sacrifices of a Carer

Nobody tells you how hard caring for a loved one can be , on all levels..The strain mentally and physically can be draining and it eats away on your soul....I have been the backbone of the family with raising 3 children and sole carer of my husband for the best of twenty years....In doing so I can sit back and say i did a good job raising my kids...They all have morals, have good lives and in general are very caring young adults...

Sadly one has chosen not to include me in their life these days but that`s another story for another day...My eldest is my best friend and my sounding board...She will listen when i`m down and always have a shoulder for me to lean on ...The youngest is still home with me and today he is my protector and my side kick...I`m proud of my kids because I did it tough and I did it on my own even though i was married...

As a carer you give up a lot, a career, a social life, family outings, in fact when i look back and assess, it has even had an effect on my marriage... You see if you are not careful it can consume you before you know it especially when you are putting everyone`s needs before yourself...In my case it did, and in the end you are no longer classed as a husband and wife team ...It`s just you "the carer"...The one who is the glue holding everything together...Putting on the happy face but on the inside you`re thinking this life that was thrusted upon you is tearing you apart...It can be a dark lonely place...

When I turned 50 it was like a light switched on...Yep a light bulb moment...I thought the best years of my life had gone in a blink, ...Where did the time go???...What had I done for myself other than raising my children????.....I couldn`t think of one thing, yet I had so many pipe dreams when I was younger....

Now I have chosen to do things for me ...After taking care of everybody who mattered to me in life i have managed to take up casual employment, traveled overseas and planning a big holiday for next year with my youngest son because i feel he especially missed out on alot growing up because of his fathers illnesses...In doing these things for myself I am still doing what is required of me as a carer but i am not letting it consume me to the point of sacrificing what life I have left....Sadly because of circumstances out of our control we are now separated as husband and wife, amicable mind you.... Due to illness taking it`s toll we have now become more like friends and with a decision not taken lighty agreed to stay under the same roof making things easier for the both of us...

Just remember as a carer , you matter, your life matters....Always always devote time for yourself otherwise you could end up like me and realise when it`s all too late.....

Succulent Crazy

As i have become a mature aged person my love for gardening has expanded...I never quite understood how anyone could be so possessed by a simple plant, until now...The humble succulent I can`t get enough of them, always on the lookout for the different and exotic...

Sadly i am running out of room but still i will keep buying, accepting freebies and if i`m lucky see something growing on the curbside which i don`t have and take a cutting..

But to my delight i am far from alone..I have joined so many groups who like myself have a love for these delightful plants...We compare, share and admire...Just one of my many interests that keeps the sanity alive and well...

I`ve found my way back

Well it certainly has been a while since i`ve been here, 5 or so years by the looks of things..A lot has certainly changed for me in that time, one being older and hopefully wiser...                                                                                                                                                                                                          
Why am i back???..Well firstly it took this old girl a while to find her way back..You know, that thing called a memory ...Yeah right, it`s a struggle these days ...Then i have had the need to vent and get my frustrations out without being judged or stalked by the ones whom you class as family or close friends especially when it comes to the dreaded Facebook...You know how it goes, you put something up and everything is taken out of context and suddenly it has become a world war..Plus there is that situation where you have mutual friends , so on and so on...Nothing is sacred..NOTHING...

One has had situations where the phone calls start because of a status you happen to have written all wanting to find out what`s going on and let`s face it, you really don`t want to go into detail...Sometimes they mean nothing but people make it into something naturally thinking it`s about them or someone they know, and so it snowballs into something which meant totally nothing..

Hence the reason for me to take up my first love again which was blogging...

Goodbye to 2 dear friends

Sadly it`s been a week of loses for me....

A family friend lost her beautiful 4 year old boy to cancer and tonight I learnt that a dear blogging friend also lost her battle to cancer....Some of you will know her....Chez , her blog "Indigo Dreaming"......

Now there is no more pain and suffering, you are both free....

Thankyou for being a part of my life...You will never be forgotten as you both have a special place in my heart.....

RIP Rodney and Chez..xxx

Wow another year has passed..It seems that the years are going faster each time around, i`m sure of it...

I am really hoping that the Year 2012 is going to be better than last year especially for my youngest whom is struggling with the teen years...14 going on 40 and it`s a battle of the wills at the moment...Thankfully mum still has a few tricks up her sleeve..lol...

It`s a new beginning for myself this year ...I am finally making time for me by joining up with the local gym...Firstly it`s going to be good for my fitness as i currently have zilch in the fitness category and secondly it is giving me an outlet...Let`s face facts, a girl can only do so much shopping in a week....

I started my fitness regime last week and OH MY GOD what have I done...The pain, i could hardly walk but with sheer determination I went back ..4 days of sweat and sore muscles already it`s paying off...

Who knows i might end up running a marathon...

(IN MY DREAMS)...hahaha...

Happy NEw Year evryone

The Elephant in Adelaide not a place to let your daughters socialise

You think that your 18 year old daughter is going to be ok whilst out on the town...

You do the parent thing going through the do`s, don`ts and the just in cases with her because you never know what could be waiting around the corner...

But what happened this Saturday night makes my blood boil...

Night Clubs really need to start treating our kids as kids not as cattle....

My daughter was sitting with her group of friends minding her own business when a security guard grabbed her by the arm and started heading her towards the door....

She asked him what he was doing and the response to follow is ridiculous....

He needed to clear out some people so that they could get more in as the queue outside was building....

Who cares!!!!!!!!

Not you obviously....

What right do you have to throw an 18 year old girl out on the street ALONE......

These night clubs make rules up as they go along...Got to get the numbers up don`t we and not worry about the consequences in doing so...The patrons, well they`re just a number aren`t they.... Well you STINK "THE ELEPHANT" in Adelaide....

Thankfully a young lad came to my daughters rescue as she was beside herself crying and scared not knowing what to do. He walked with her to find some other friends which she was able to contact by phone....

Makes me want to go down to this club and slap the security guy fair and square in the face....All I can say is thank god someone was watching over my daughter that night and nothing serious happened to her.....

And as for you first time parents with young daughters going out to night clubs here in Adelaide, keep in mind "The Elephant" as a no go zone as they aren`t kid friendly....

My daughter will NOT be going back so you`ll have one less to worry about in your queue!!!!!!

Not what I would call a good start to the New Year

Luck certainly isn`t running my way at present....Just before Xmas we were having car trouble....RAdiator wasn`t preforming properly so we do the right thing and seek the professional....A new radiator was needed or so we were told....$430 later thanks for coming....Not a week later and still we had trouble..Losing coolant but not seeing any leaks....So back we go to get it sorted out...New problem and another $70.... After a week or two I found I was having to top the radiator up again...Surely NO but alas YES, looks like we are back at square one again...Losing coolant but no leaks that we can see....So hubby will be getting on to the so called specialist when they open to let him know how UNHAPPY we are....I think this guy believes we have a money tree growing out in the backyard....Either that or we have Suckers written clearly in bold letters on our forheads.... That`s the fisrt of our break downs..... The other is our washing machine....We found a great secondhand one, right size for the family and well within our budget as we had to take into consideration the price of hiring a trailer...All was going along nicely for 2 weeks then Christmas eve it stopped dead on me....Wash cycle is all good but no rinse or drain which means only one thing , the water pump....So now I need to make a decision, do I save for a new washing machine or do I pay for someone to come out and fix this one....Either way I`ll be having to save the pennies.... One positive is that it still washes and that it`s summer so drip drying won`t be a problem.... And here we are a few days into the New YEar and things aren`t going the way I would like them to be...Hope this isn`t a sign of things to come or it could be a very long year...:)